That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
