I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
