6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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