I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
