I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
