I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think people are normalizing furries
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
