VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
