Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
