I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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