we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
