We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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