you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
