just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
jump out the window naked night went bad
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
