He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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