this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
