I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you had me at cake vodka
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
