i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
