Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
