She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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