The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
