And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
