Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
