one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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