Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
