AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
