I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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