sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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