So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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