420 ftw
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
