If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
