Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
