Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
