i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize