i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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