i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
