I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
