Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My penis needs a shock collar
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
