Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
