I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Small penises have feelings too.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
