the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
