I didn't shave. On purpose
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
