Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
