I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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