I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
