You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You were trust falling into bushes
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
