OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
