Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
