and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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