Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
