Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
