i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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